February B.C.

Today Nita got up and said, "Is is February?"

February is an important month to her, as her birthday is at the end, on the 28th. She has been counting down the months and days since last September when I started writing on the 2009 calendar.

I assured her we had made it, and she was pleased. Just a minute ago, she walked past the calendar, which still had January showing and stopped dead. "Wait!" she exclaimed, "It's still January!"

Imagine the hideousness of never getting closer to a birthday--kind of like the movie Groundhog Day, I guess. For some of us, that would be great; think of all I could finally accomplish. We informed her we simply hadn't removed January yet.

Anyway, Nita then checked out the months and days until 2010. Then she said, "Is there going to be a 2011?" I assured her there would and added, "But Mom will be crazy because she will be finishing her dissertation and will be bald from pulling all her hair out."

Since she's been with us since she was very small, the statement didn't faze her. "Okay," she said. "Will there be a 3000 and 4000 year, too?"

"Yes, but you won't be alive then, as people don't live a thousand years."

"Oh, that's right."

Rocky pipes up from his homework, "Some people might."

We all looked at him. "Well, they didn't live very long back in Jesus's time, so I figured they might live longer now."

I asked him, "How long ago was Jesus born?"

"A couple million years?" Which explains the failing grade in religion class--too much time spent staring at how shiny Brianna's hair is and not enough listening to the priest. We started with the meaning of B. C. He got that--enough dinosaur movies, I guess.

I asked, "What happened in the year 1?"

"People lived to be a thousand years old?"

"Let's try again. It's three hours before lunch, two hours before lunch, one hour before lunch. Then what happens?"

"We eat lunch."

"So...Four years B. C., three years B. C., two years B. C., one year B. C., then what happens?"

"Christ?" I refrain from banging my head on the table.

"What about Christ?"

The light dawns. "He was born!"

"So," I say, "what year is it now?"

He says, "2009." Close enough.

"So how long has Christ been dead, approximately?" He answers. "And has anyone lived that long? Would it be possible? "

"No," he says, decidedly. I smile.

"But," he adds, "someone might have..."

It certainly won't be me. I'm on the accelerated plan with this kid.