When Rocky was three, he was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder. At the time, I knew that was the issue, but I hoped for a different outcome, a disorder which could quite nicely be treated with a pill once or twice a day.
No such luck.
We had to work through the inappropriate urination, aggression, fire setting, out of control behavior, lying, self-mutilation, stealing, you name it, if it was a symptom of attachment disorder, he pretty much had it. Add to that the constant battle for control.
One of the behaviors which I struggle with yet, or I guess I should say, HE struggles with yet, is the lying. We used to say, "Is his mouth moving? Then he's lying." Now though, he can be truthful for weeks on end, and then kabam, he will lie. The big problem is it is a knee jerk reaction, deception from the gut, not the brain, and once it is out, he will hold fiercely to the lie, no matter how idiotic it is.
Then, of course, we go back to the old techniques, old ways of parenting, and eventually he will be truthful again. I suppose I ought to journal this, as it may give me a clue as to whether we are making progress, gradually extending the times between lying episodes.
But what if there isn't progress? Would I really want to know?
2 comments:
Sigh. We get so caught up in the challenges or successes of the moment, it is almost impossible to see the big picture. Daughter is being awful right now, but her blood sugars are great and she's not sneaking food. Do I celebrate the success in that area or lament the fact that she's always too sick or too tired to do anything around the house? Rocky has made progress-- tremendous progress. The regression and RAD residue are still very frustrating. I think this comment was just a waste of space-- but I know you understand and relate.
No, it wasn't a waste of space. It reminds me we are not alone. Sigh is right.
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