Un-working

I've been on vacation since June 21, my own school responsibilities ending on June 18, and except for the funeral, I have had a series of unplanned days. I do all the things I normally do, but without the focus that I have when I am working and in school. I always liken it to having a scuba diving mask on, seeing out the front, but being aware that there is more out there, the world kind of echo-y and distorted because of that focus.

I have attended to my list of five minute jobs which never seem to get done.

I have cleaned behind, under, and between things.

I have spent time with my children and my sister, listening.

I read an entire book, one which was fiction, for no reason other than I wanted to do so.

I have slept deeply and for eight hours most nights, with little wakefulness.

When I was awakened, it was by the coyotes yipping outside my window. Even the dogs and kids seem to be buying into my relaxed state.

July crept in on us, up from behind, surprising us that so much of the summer was already over. After this week, I have three more days, and then I go back to both worlds. I always wondered if women who stayed at home felt like their lives were slipping by day by day, with little to show for it except how they affected the lives of their families. And I wondered if it was worth it. However, I now see that there is something to being there so others can live their lives better. Maybe it isn't all about me.