I am like one of those cartoon people, the ones who are in human form but who have a huge hole in their torsos, openings so large that we all can see through them to the other side.
EG's passing made that hole in me, but I can't see through it to the other side where he has gone. I can function quite well, despite the hole, I think, except for periodic brain lapses. I drive, I pay bills, I grocery shop, I go to work, I cook meals.
I need to be here, but I want to be there where he is. Or, more accurately, I want him back with us. I want my boring little banal life, with the slightly messy house, constant lawn chores, fighting kids, and dog hair, and I want him to be here to share in all its mundane glory and not have left me to face it all alone.