Monday, September 26, 2011

Were you thinking?

Today we got a letter from a couple who attend our church. The couple wanted the children to know some things about Dads and God. They told the children "God was so pleased with what EG had accomplished in his life and with his family that dad could serve Him better and serve you better by being with Him in heaven, and more over (sic) deserved to be with Him."

Really? So their point is God felt EG deserved being in Heaven so much that He was going to take EG in a violent manner while the kids were there? A benevolent God couldn't find a kinder, gentler way to take someone to their eternal reward?

I have issues with the fact that this is a couple, part of an intact family, who is delivering platitudes to a no longer intact family. I have issues with the husband deciding he could speak for EG (who is probably banging around in that plastic box on my closet shelf), based on how much they had in common because they were both dads. And I have issues with them telling the children that their dad would be their guardian angel, then telling the children that their son's grandfather was his guardian angel, but they suspected that Grandpa was distracted at times playing cards or bowling up there because periodically their son will run into things. Oh, that's comforting--Dad will watch over you unless he has something fun to do.

I read the letter to Nita, in all her eleven-going-on-thirty wisdom. She leveled her gaze at me. "Were they thinking when they wrote this," she asked. Um.

So, I wrote a long, angry letter to this couple. I cried out of anger. I went to the church and talked to the priest, who said, "You can throw it away--that's the joy of mail."

I realized then that I didn't want to let it go. These people needed to pay for their sanctimonious, we-have-all-the-answers attitude. They needed to be told that they weren't so wonderful.

But I needed to take the high road. So I sent a short letter stating, "While I am sure that you had the best intentions when you sent your letter, but I will not be sharing it with the children. Please continue to pray for them if you feel the need, but do not try to contact them again."

Let them wonder.


Kimluvswinston said...

Fellow widow fist bump.

Good for you, Diana. Good for you.

Munchkin Mom said...

Someone mentioned that I might live in the twilight zone.

maeve said...

Another fist bump here. I'm afraid I'd be tempted to get out my red pen and write all over the letter with my comments and send it back to them. I think that trying to push one's religious beliefs on others, especially children, is just plain wrong. Not to mention re-traumatizing traumatized kids. IDIOTS.

Munchkin Mom said...

I was going to send them a long, detailed letter listing all their transgressions, but I figured the two sentences probably said so little that they might, just possibly, reflect rather than react.

Or not.