Monday, December 31, 2007

What I have learned

One odd thing I found out about myself once I got out of high school was that I was a kinesthetic learner--I have to do or experience things to learn. Even if I write an essay, I have to walk around the room while editing in order to be effective.

Unfortunately, that carries over into life in general. I do not learn by reading that patience is a virtue, nor do I learn by people telling me how strong I really am. I have to learn to have patience by experiencing the same things, over and over again, which make me impatient. I have to be tested to learn, finally, how strong I am.

One thing which I cannot learn, however, is to not worry. It appears to be an unwanted hobby of mine. I generally will awake about three a.m. and begin to worry about various things, none of which I can control or address at that time. And no matter how many times things work out okay, I still continue to worry, forever generating new worries and losing way too much sleep over these mostly unwarranted concerns.

If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. I would like to take up something more restful than worrying for the new year, perhaps fencing or fire walking or motocross racing.

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