Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Put the cash in the cup provided

This happened a couple of years ago.

I have two kids with attention deficit disorder—one is hyperactive and one isn’t. I had read that martial arts are a great activity for ADD kids, so I called around to find a class which would suit. I eventually chose a school at the local YWCA. The class is taught by a married couple, and the husband is an ex-Marine. When someone gets out of line, he will raise one eyebrow and lower the other and stare down at the offender from his seemingly great height. This look stops me short, and I have never been on the direct receiving end of it.

Rocky has given Sir many reasons to exercise his eyebrows. My son is highly competitive, so jogging around the room becomes a race for Rocky. While the other students remain grouped according to rank, Rocky will lap the upper ranks, apparently thinking he is the Bobby Rahal of the jogging world.

Then he gets the eyebrow and pushups.

Last week, I washed everyone’s tae kwon do uniforms and distributed them to their rightful owners. Rocky put his on the bed, eventually pushing it to the floor. The dog then obligingly trotted over the pants and top several times, leaving muddy streaks and footprints. On tae kwon do night, Rocky emerged from his room looking like he had been dragged behind a runaway horse. After shrieking for several minutes, I sent him to change into sweats and a tee shirt. That evening it was the eyebrow and pushups AND being sent to the end of the line for class.

However, Rocky gave Sir a real workout one evening. The Y has vending machines near the restrooms. One of the other moms heard someone come downstairs from tae kwon do class and peeked around the corner to see Rocky in the hall; he said he was on his way to the restrooms. Returning to her chair, she heard the vending machines operate. Since the uniforms worn in class do not have pockets, she dismissed Rocky as being the one to use the machines. However, this pattern continued for several evenings, so I asked Rocky about it. He denied everything, but then the girls reported to me that Rocky jingled in the crotch area when he was sparring in class. The truth came out—Rocky was using his athletic cup to transport funds.

When I told Sir about this latest fiasco, he was so dumfounded that he simply blinked. However, by the time he got to Rocky, the eyebrows were working overtime.

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