Sunday, October 16, 2011

Ashes to Ashes

Today we scattered EG's ashes. We waited until now because Nita announced that this would be the month. I set the date with a minister friend of my sister's, who came to do the simple ceremony.

Last spring, I stood at my kitchen sink and looked out over the far back yard, and I thought, "I'd like to see yellow out there." The morning he died, EG and I again discussed our wishes for our remains. I had always wanted to be scattered out in the "far back" with our pets from over the years, and he had recently decided he wanted to be out there, too. He said, "This is home."

Earlier in the afternoon, my sister came, and in the rain, we planted fifteen forsythia, and we put in over fifty Prince Alfred daffodil bulbs. I should see some yellow out there this spring, and the plants should gradually spread. I would like to put a garden in the entire quarter acre, doing it gradually, over time, with maybe a bench so I can go and sit with him and the dogs and cats and rabbits. I might as well get used to being out there.

The scattering ceremony was nicer and easier than I expected. The girls each did a reading. I had put ashes in seven paper cups, so each person distributed part of him. Once I spread my cup, I knew this was right. I took the rest of the ashes and tossed them high, watching them soar, and knew then that he was soaring, too.


maeve said... beautiful. And what a powerful message to the children. You've created a place for them to remember him.

debinca said...
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debinca said...

I will miss you my friend. After you catch up with EG, Please continue to advise us all from Heaven.

Even sending an occasional good boot in the pants for us all to stay focused, as you always have, on family, living life to its fullest and what's REALLY important enough to fight for.

Hugs and prayers from California. Owl adsg.

maeve said...

Playing Groban in your memory today although I'm still having a hard time believing you're gone from us. You're still here in the eyes and memories of your children. Love you!

Zaina Marie said...
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maeve said...

To MM's sister: please tell us what we can do to help you. I'm in Cleveland Heights, but don't know how to get in contact. I won't go on and on, just contact me if you want...need...something, anything.

Anita said...

How memorable, special, and life lasting.

NoraK said...

MM was indeed a special person. Here's her obit. For those who did not know her well, please respect the privacy of her children.

Anita said...

What do I say? that was her name; the name of someone I befriended via a blog, of all things.

My first comment on this post was a response to, ironicially, her writing to honor the memory of her husband. I did not read the other comments, otherwise, I would have known sooner that my dear bloggy friend has passed away.

Thank you so much, NoraK, for the link to her obituary. As sad as I am to know, it is good for me to maintain a place in my heart for her, her children, and family. Her love for them was so apparent in her writings; the care and going the extra mile.

I found Munchkin Mom via a blog search, probably using the words, "menopause and mom." :) I'd just begun to blog and was thrilled to find someone to relate to. I now see that our birthdates are only 6 months apart.

While Diane maintained her privacy by not delving deeply into the blogging world, she responded to me, either on her posts, or with a quick email.

We had a connection and I will miss it. I will miss her. I will miss hearing of her challenges and how she fought hard to provide the best life for her children. May God bless them. Their lives have been turned upside down. It is my prayer that they will overcome and live peaceful and successful lives.

If anyone can tell me what happened, I can be reached at noteforanita at gmail dot com. Why it should matter to me, I don't know; but it does.

Anita said...

continued from last comment: I found the media story. Thank you.

Karen said...

My sweet and beautiful friend, you bring me strength and hope. Everytime I see yellow flowers I will think of you. The community we live in is so giving. The Garden Club and Home Depot want to finish the memorial garden for your family. I pray for the right time to start, my garage is filling with donations. You are missed. Hugz

maeve said...

I wonder how long we can keep this going. Wouldn't that be a wonderful memorial??

Diane, you were my cyber-friend. We only saw each other in real life a couple of times but we wrote our feelings over and over. You supported me in crises and in regular life and I hope I did the same. There are not many women who share my life experiences. I miss you more than you'll ever know. It's November 21 and close to Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for your friendship and your support. That's all right now -- just THANKS.

Kimluvswinston said...

Oh my God. I wondered and wondered why she wasn't posting anymore. I just found out from the comments.

I'm a widow too and I loved her blogs. I don't know her. I will miss her.

I can't wrap my mind around this.

maeve said...

So, my friend, here it is the new year and we're still without you. More importantly so are the kids, will remember 2011 as the worst year of their lives. I'm writing here even tho I know perfectly well that you are not reading. Maybe you're listening, tho, on some level, and know that your friends miss you and that your kids miss you more than life itself. There are no words.

debinca said...

Hey Diane, I am still sending you hugs and prayers from California. Its 2012 here and winter is blowing us all around.

I Think of your wise thoughts often and hope you are up n heaven giving your wise, charming and helpful advise to those you meet. Give EG a hug for me!

Katherine Thayer said...

Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate your blog.