According to the experts, I am doing everything right, I have the right perspective, and I have found outlets for this grief.
However, it is like a feral creature, apparently domesticated, but still skulking around the house. Instead of it learning to live in the presence of humans, we have learned to live with it.
I know it can't kill me, but it has left scars. Right now, though, I fear for my children.
One sleeps a lot, staying where it is safe and denying the creature is out there; one talks incessantly to keep the creature at bay; and one becomes aggressive out of defense.
Everyone is still vigilant about the next attack.